A Sharp Right

There was this nice weather a day or so ago.

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:30:49 -0400

There was this nice weather a day or so ago.

Woods Hole in late fall is a patchwork of clouds and coastal wind, with long stretches of afternoon...

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:51:30 -0400

Woods Hole in late fall is a patchwork of clouds and coastal wind, with long stretches of afternoon sun. Rains have been heavy but not particularly cold. Also, the fireplace has been warm more often than not.

Here are the stats: roughly a month and a half in, I’ve now done 180 pages, a revised, reduced outline, plus a bunch of incidental exploratory material that will never see the light of day. I’m on track for 200 by the end of the month. I’m now projecting that to be about 1/3rd of the total material I’ll need for a first draft.

My hosts will be back for two weeks at the beginning of November between trips to South Georgia (the one near the South Pole, not the one with the racists and the peaches), and for that time I’m trying to arrange a stay on Nantucket. Turns out a week’s rental in Nantucket in November costs about what a nice one-bedroom costs in New York for a month.

Also, apparently they have kickbox bootcamp in Cape Cod too. However, unlike the one in Miami, this one mostly takes place in a strip mall next to a UPS store. The universe may be suggesting that I instead take up yoga with the moms and the bald-guy pony-tails.

Onwards and upwards with the arts.

I’m in New York until Wednesday. Everything seems so nice when you don’t actually live...

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 22:40:07 -0400

I’m in New York until Wednesday.

Everything seems so nice when you don’t actually live here.

And now, Miami is over. That went quick. The stats, currently: one hundred and fifty pages on...

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 00:14:00 -0400

And now, Miami is over. That went quick.

The stats, currently: one hundred and fifty pages on paper, chapters all outlined, and some other odds and ends that are the equivalent of construction paper scraps left on the floor.

Tuesday is New York, followed next week by Woods Hole for I guess the rest of the year. I understand through the rumor-mill that it is Fall in the Northeast. It better not be cold when I get back.

Today my hosts Sara and Bill took me for an afternoon at the Fairchild Tropical Botanic Gardens. Let me just say: nature births some strange shit. Here they are below, looking surprised by it.

Next up: I find out it’s cold when I get back.

Right, so I’m in South Beach. Writing a book. Those two things don’t quite add up right...

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 22:34:00 -0400

Right, so I’m in South Beach. Writing a book. Those two things don’t quite add up right when I put them side to side like that.

For those of you keeping score at home, here are the most recent stats: two weeks, seventy pages, a complete beginning-to-end chapter outline, and a headache from how first-draft it all is.

Also, I’m getting this tan in the opposite shape of a t-shirt.

I’m staying for the month at my friend Theo’s parents’ house. Her mother is a rather remarkable visual artist, and her father a similarly remarkable photographer. They’ve been wonderfully generous in their hosting, and I’ve tried to offer some small thank-you in the form of crossword puzzle assistance.

A few things you may be interested to know about Miami:

1. There is no respectable coffee

2. Wynwood is the new hotness. I’m embarrassingly late to the party on this

3. New York is not as in-shape as Miami. Not by a lot.

So I signed up for this kickbox bootcamp class that promises I’ll get a tighter ass or a flatter stomach or self-confidence or something. No joke, I’ve been going five days a week. If you do actually find yourself in Miami for an extended length of time, I can’t recommend enough. Don’t laugh.

I’ll be back in New York City for a few days between the 4th and the 12th of October, before heading up to Woods Hole for two and a half months. Please do let me know if you will be free during that period; I will be entertaining social calls, hearty handshakes, and all the coffee I can drink.

Please be advised: I’m doing this again. One book-length project. September through December....

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 21:54:00 -0400

Please be advised: I’m doing this again. One book-length project. September through December. South Beach and Woods Hole. Departing in a week.

Yes.

As of Tuesday, I’ve arrived back in Brooklyn. Which, as you would expect, marks my trip...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 11:16:07 -0400

As of Tuesday, I’ve arrived back in Brooklyn. Which, as you would expect, marks my trip officially over.

Rather than offer some predictable summation of the experience (believe me, it would be maudlin), I’d like to say thanks for reading. Between short stories and manuscript drafting, I put down close to 400 pages - not in small part because I thought you might enjoy some of it.

With that, I’ll leave you with a story called True Believers, which is currently in competition for the Glimmer Train New Writers Award and the Camber Press Fiction Chapbook Award, among others. It’s about a father and son traveling-salesman duo who sell an unusual product:

Ms. Baker and Davey’s dad moved to the dining room where they laughed about something Davey didn’t catch. But he heard the familiar click-snap of the suitcase and saw his dad stack six boxes of Believe on the table. Davey’s heart pounded.

“Now before we talk about the boring stuff, I want to introduce you to the newest line of Believe. Brand new formula this year, I got it factory direct. You can’t even order this on the internet.” He removed a white plastic vial from the inside of his jacket and handed it to Ms. Baker.

“Try a pinch. Only a little though. They say this batch is almost four times more concentrated.”

Ms. Baker fumbled her fat fingers on the vial’s stopper and gave Davey a pleading look. Much as it pained him, he wasn’t allowed help the customer. This was the conversion moment, when Ms. Baker or a hundred others like her had to imagine that they were holding their very own Believe. They had to visualize it as a part of their life. That, his dad said, was when customers became buyers.

Read the rest here

And also, a picture of Nantucket.

Enjoy your day jobs, suckers.

Thus begins the last week of my trip. I’d love to have something poignant to say, but that...

Mon, 24 May 2010 21:28:00 -0400

Thus begins the last week of my trip.

I’d love to have something poignant to say, but that may have to wait until the ride slows to a stop. As you would expect from these updates, I now have a few more stories, a few more pages on the manuscript, a bit more of a farmer’s tan.

The rough count is as follows: 220 pages on a manuscript, 160 and change of short stories. I’m not sure why I feel the need to catalog this, since admittedly I may have written 380 pages of garbage. But it seems to be proof that I’ve done something with the past three months. Besides, you know, going to Mexico and Martha’s Vineyard.

Plans are slowly moving ahead for life this summer. I should be re-signing my lease and re-entering the working world in the next few weeks. I’m also setting up some writing resources back in New York (like a writing group and a schedule). Lastly, I’m starting the legwork on learning to book-bind so I can turn the stories into a physical object for friends and suckers who happen to leaf through my coffee table.

Tomorrow I head to Nantucket for a day of biking around and talking to myself. So there’s that.

I’ll see you all in a week or three.

As of today I am exactly three weeks into my six week sojourn to New England. Which also means...

Sat, 08 May 2010 12:18:00 -0400

As of today I am exactly three weeks into my six week sojourn to New England. Which also means half-over, a fact I’m finding mildly stressful as the other side of it ends with a question mark about what to do with the rest of my life.

But the hell with that for the moment.

In the past two weeks I’ve had blissfully little to report. I’ve cooked a lot of meals, biked about two hundred miles, and gone to the beach when the weather permits. Plus I’ve put the drafts of two more stores to paper.

The latest piece I’m mostly comfortable sharing concerns bodybuilders. Namely, a retired competitive bodybuilder who returns to LA for a funeral and a catch-up with a long lost training buddy:

It was two weeks ago exactly when he got the call. He was at work, at the gym in Syosset going over the books. There was a little bit of cash left at the end of the year and Rick wanted to pick up a few new stationary bikes. Easier come tax time, and the housewives couldn’t get enough of their spin classes.

Marty from the front desk poked his head in. Told him he had a call, said it sounded important.

It was Anthony Vance from LA. Jesus, he hadn’t heard from Anthony Vance in forever. What, fifteen years maybe? Anthony laughed. The legendary Rick Palazzo. General manager at a Crunch Gym. Thought I had the wrong guy.

Yeah, well, he said, everyone has to pay the bills.

Then Anthony got serious. He explained that Joe Gold had just died. Heart attack. No surprise, the man was in his 80s. A bunch of the old guys from the circuit were coming back to town for the service. Probably a bunch of the new guys too. Ronnie Colman, Gunter Schlierkamp. Rumor had it Arnold might even put in an appearance.

Rick didn’t know if he could make it. It was such short notice. The holidays were coming up and he had an ugly list of stuff to get done.

Hey, Anthony said, no sweat either way. But I just ran into your old training buddy Paulie Russo down in Century City, and he asked how you were doing. Funny timing, eh? If you come out, you should look him up.

Read the rest here. The usual caveats about spelling and grammar apply.

Finally, I’m planning on putting together some sort of book-like record of my work during this trip. For it, I’m soliciting art from all of my talented friends. Pictures, illustrations, scribbles, whatever. If you happen to know anyone (or be someone) who might be interested in setting some art to some stories, please refer them to asharpright@gmail.com

As of this morning I’ve been in Woods Hole for a full week. It’s both literal and...

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 17:50:52 -0400

As of this morning I’ve been in Woods Hole for a full week. It’s both literal and figurative worlds away from Mexico. Right now I’m playing house; taking care of a friendly cat and some ambivalent fish. I can drink the water straight from the tap if I feel so inclined.

I’m right by the beach, and a ten-mile bike path called the Shining Sea bikeway. I’ve been trying to bike it end-to-end every other day. Which means I get decked out in my spandex body armor and go roaring past kids with training wheels. In other news, six years in New York City have apparently turned me into a jerk. But no matter.

The writing’s also back in full swing. I’m coming around to the idea that finishing a draft of a novel will most likely take me longer than three months (duh). Which I’ve found an immensely freeing realization, allowing me to more flexibly write and develop the characters.

In other news, I got my first acceptance letter today. PANK Magazine has said that they would like to publish “An Elegy For Dust and Flight” in either their June or August issue. I’m pretty thrilled about this. More information to come.

Finally, I’ve fallen in with some kids here, at least temporarily. They live in a much more laid-back, earthy style than I’m used, and it’s a strange experience trying to fit myself in. I talk too fast, drop too many names, drink less and worry more. They compost and garden. On the plus side, I have gotten to cruise around in a BMW made permanently convertible with a Sawzall. They call it the Safari Car. It was rad.

I’m in LA. Apparently what people do in LA is drive, go to the beach, and remark on how nice...

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:44:00 -0400

I’m in LA.

Apparently what people do in LA is drive, go to the beach, and remark on how nice the weather is. I can safely report that I’ve done all three of these things this week.

I’ve made the rounds in my sad, rented Chevy Cobalt, which feels like a knife at the gunfight of LA’s freeway hustle. Social calls have been made to an old BrainReserve colleague of mine (and her boyfriend), an old college friend of mine (and her girlfriend), and an old high school buddy of mine (and his vintage Mercedes). It’s taken me from Santa Monica to Silver Lake, to Long Beach, respectively.

What’s more, I’ve put the first coat of varnish on another story, this one much different in tone and texture from the last. It’s about an old Astronaut who passes through objects. It’s also about growing old:

Passing is not the right word for the Astronaut’s particular dislocations, though it is the closest. At first he barely noticed when a pen slipped through his grip or the TV remote found its way clattering to the ground. He assumed these things were merely creeping reminders of his body’s growing unreliability, its systems drifting out of tempo.

And then one day he sat down to a microwaved Stouffers dinner to instead find himself on the house’s wood-veneer floor, staring into the space between the dining table’s legs. There was no pain, not as though the chair had been pulled from under him, but more as if he had simply moved through the chair and come to an abrupt stop. As though he had frozen in a sitting position and the chair, the floor, the house, all of it had rotated a few degrees upwards, around some arbitrary celestial axis, stopping seconds short of where it should have been.

Read the rest here. Mind the typos and rough spots; I’m still spitting and polishing.

In other news, I will be flying back to New York tomorrow. I’ll be spending three days with my family on Long Island, and then three days milling aimlessly around the city. Finally, on Friday morning I head to Budget Rental to get a one-way clunker to Cape Cod.

To everyone who has housed me, fed me, and bothered to read my writing so far: thanks.

Goodbye, Mexico. I’m not going to lie, you’ve been pretty rad. Like San Miguel for...

Sat, 03 Apr 2010 01:25:05 -0400

Goodbye, Mexico.

I’m not going to lie, you’ve been pretty rad. Like San Miguel for example, where I hung out with cool kids and retirees, and stared at a lot of inoffensive art work. It was sun-drenched and pastorale, a strange combination of things: old hippie artists, young transplants from Mexico City, hot air balloon pilots, good food, street urchins selling Chicklets. I managed to get myself there, back, and fed on my Spanish, so that has to count for something.

So now it’s onto LA, where I will spend a lot on a little rental car and verify my description of Venice beach for a story about bodybuilders. I wonder if I can deduct this from next year’s taxes.

As far as the writing goes, I’m starting the submission process. I’ve got three strong pieces that are ready to start fishing for some rejection letters. And another handful of drafts getting there. The novel continues to plod forward. I’m in the market for some index cards to do chapter outlines. Apparently writing a novel is difficult and time-consuming. Nevertheless, I have a hundred and twenty pages of something and some major surgery lined up for it over the next two weeks.

Thanks everyone for reading. More in a week or so, from the relative comfort of the US of A. Meanwhile, here’s another picture of some gorgeous place I’m a little sad to be leaving.

Oh hello. This week I took a trip to the neighboring city of Guanajuato. Apparently that’s...

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:02:00 -0400

Oh hello.

This week I took a trip to the neighboring city of Guanajuato. Apparently that’s where they stash the history and charm. It was an ancient Spanish-built city that played pivotal roles in Mexico’s revolution and war for independence (which I’ve promptly forgotten), and is now the capital of the state. Man was it nice. It’s both a UNESCO world heritage site and a university town, home to the Universidad de Guanajuato.

Tomorrow I head out for a long weekend to the (rumored) equally charming town of San Miguel de Allende - referred to by my guidebook as “Disneyland for international retirees”. I’ll be doing it up bed-and-breakfast style, surprise.

All the travel is sort of a last hurrah before I ship out to LA next weekend.

The writing is still going. The novel draft is taking a break for a minute, but I’m working on the beginnings of a story about a father and son who travel the country selling belief. And I’m slow-cooking an idea for a story about a couple who fall in love while sleepwalking.

Of other note, I have been stuffing my face like a fat kid. Mexican food (or ‘food’ as they call it here) is basically all I want to eat forever. For example…

Man. Now I want some enchiladas. If I come back to the states with an extra twenty pounds around the middle, I fully expect you to pretend like I don’t.

I’m not (too) drunk in this picture. I’m mostly just happy to have survived a third...

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:47:00 -0400

I’m not (too) drunk in this picture. I’m mostly just happy to have survived a third week in Mexico, chasing my pipe dreams.

In other news, this past weekend I visited the Ranch of the family Nienow. It was a forty minute drive into the mountains, to an area that looked as though it was once used for horse rearing. More recently, it seems, it is used for sick-looking architecture.

Time is both standing still and draining out the bottom of the bucket. My schedule has now expanded to include an editing section in the afternoon. So all tolled it’s writing from 9:30 until 1:30, and then editing from 4:30 until 6 or 7. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s starting to feel like a real job, in that I have to keep doing it even if I don’t feel like it one day.

Most importantly, I’m now at the stage where I’m ready to share some reasonably finished writing. You can find my first story, called By Committee, her e. And here is an excerpt, for your attention-getting pleasure:

We had gone in blind at first, two years ago, thinking we could simply fill out the application and be on our way. Sure, we had heard the horror stories of the birth approval process, but somehow none of them applied specifically to us. We were different. We were, by all accounts, the ideal candidates for a pregnancy. Two incomes, good health records. We even owned our own home.

We didn’t even make it past the quota counters. Just an afternoon spent on dirty plastic benches, in a long line, now serving 641, now serving 644. The rejection was comically short. A round-faced Hispanic woman with the shadow of a moustache slipped the rejection letter to us through the bulletproof divider saying ‘ees for technical inconsistencies in jour application’.

Karen’s friend Amy, our neighbor down the street, laughed when she heard. This was over a dinner that she had thrown together at the last minute. We talked and talked; she listened generously. I knocked my wine over in recounting our trip to the City offices. While I apologized and while Karen blotted with a napkin, Amy cut the whole thing short by leaning in and saying, “It’s not really an application. It’s a game. They want to see how long they can jerk you around before you concede to childlessness.”

Read the rest. I promise it’s good.

So ends week two in Mexico. Things are going well. I’ve produced close to twenty five...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:02:00 -0500

So ends week two in Mexico.

Things are going well. I’ve produced close to twenty five thousand words, sixty five pages of which are in the form of a novel draft. I’m still not sure if any of it’s good, but I’m starting to see that as part of the experience. I have a meeting on Monday (via skype) with a writing tutor named Nancy Rawlinson, who will hopefully be giving me some perspective on the work produced to date. So at least there will be a temporary respite from the vacuum of my own brain.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t been seriously distracted by the day-to-day amazement of living in another country (even just for two weeks). Since stuffing my face with tacos last week, I’ve also made a tour of the center of Leon, and a neighboring town called Lagos. They are both in the colonial style.

I’ve also started making friends. This includes several members of a band at one of Leon’s three hipster bars, Bar Chumani. The band plays a mixture 1950s Rock & Roll and 1960s British Invasion covers.

Last night I attended a poker game with a friend of Susy’s named Leo - a Russian expat via Oregon and Vancouver. He now lives in Leon with his wife and two children, making websites. I was up about 20 pesos - a little more than a dollar fifty by the end of the night. As a side note: Cheetos taste better in Mexico.

Also, I’ve grown a beard. Which is notable for the fact that it is the first time in my life I’ve made it past the “holy god my face itches” phase of facial hair.

This weekend I am headed to the mountains with Maxine’s family for a getaway of barbecuing and swimming. Onwards and upwards with the arts.

Mexico, one week in. So far the important part is going well: I’m writing. Roughly 2000 words...

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:47:00 -0500

Mexico, one week in.

So far the important part is going well: I’m writing. Roughly 2000 words a day. I take my laptop out to the patio, and from 9:30 until 1:30, I write. I’m not sure any of it’s good, but it’s there, and that, I’ve been told is the important thing. Well, that and not sucking.

Beyond that, my first week has been a strange combination of solitude punctuated by moments of cultural enrichment. For example, Alma, Maxine’s sister, and her boyfriend Manuel took me for the best tacos of my life yesterday. Manuel, who works in the leather trade, took me to see the inside of a tannery and showed me how leather is made. And Susy, Maxine’s childhood friend and my de facto guide, has taken me to a pizza joint, a wine tasting dinner, and the world’s last electroclash bar, respectively.

Venturing out on my own is as yet still a problem. I have been told by Alma and Manuel that I would do to avoid the bus system altogether for my own safety. I can walk around the area surrounding Maxine’s house but have not done yet done so. The end result (along with my lack of facility with Spanish) is a feeling not unlike being a very privileged and very small child. My plans are at the largesse of my hosts, for the moment.

No matter. Tomorrow I will go with Susy to Leon’s downtown district, the Centro. And Sunday to the neighboring town of Lagos. I do have the better part of a month still remaining, baby steps and all.

Please expect some writing to be shared in the next week. I know you’re not just following this to listen to me talk about tacos.

For anyone keeping score at home: I’ve officially braved the gauntlet of international air...

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:50:00 -0500

For anyone keeping score at home: I’ve officially braved the gauntlet of international air travel and arrived safely in Mexico. The local time is 11:51PM. My bank-balance-draning-career-changing-adventure-thing begins in earnest.

Meanwhile, my Spanish is - como se dice? - embarrassing.

Next stop, writing every day until forever. In theory, the schedule starts at 8 and goes until noon. Somewhere in there I fit food and coffee.

Please stay tuned…

Well, as of this afternoon my itinerary is set and my plane tickets are booked. I will be starting...

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:57:00 -0500

Well, as of this afternoon my itinerary is set and my plane tickets are booked.

I will be starting the first leg of my trip in Mexico. This is particularly exciting because I’ve never been further south of the border than Taco Bell. But also because my very talent visual artist friend Maxine has furnished me with a place to stay for the month of March in Guanajuato.

Yeah. That’s what it looks like.

Beyond that, I will be making a brief stop-over in Los Angeles the first week of April, and then on to Woods Hole, Massachusetts for the six weeks between mid-April and the end of May. In addition to the cat-care and gardening duties of house-sitting, I anticipate taking a few long bike-rides on the Shining Sea Bikeway (a 10 mile trail that runs along the Cape’s southern beaches), and perhaps a ferry to Martha’s Vineyard.

The month of June is still up in the air, but expect more information shortly.

In the meanwhile, my apartment is now officially available for sublet. You can check out the Craigslist Post here. Please feel free to pass along to anyone and everyone. Well not everyone, but I trust your judgement.

As always, please check back periodically for progress and updates. I will be posting of my traveling and writing once things get underway in March.

Thanks again for your continued interest in my late 20s soul-searching. I’ll be sure to remember it when I’m old and filthy rich.

Hello. I’m going to be writing a book. For reasons that are still beyond me, I’ve...

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 11:53:00 -0500

Hello. I’m going to be writing a book.

For reasons that are still beyond me, I’ve decided to quit my steady job in the worst economic climate I’ve seen in my lifetime, pull up stakes, and write for four months. Five hours a day, seven days a week, a hundred and twenty days. A major change of lifestyle; call it a sharp right turn.

It feels a little nuts, asking my career in advertising to bugger off for a minute, losing the health insurance, dipping into the savings. But the big three-oh is sneaking up, and I figure I need to do this sooner rather than later. Before grad school, marriage, and kids. Before my responsibilities outweigh my portability.

I’m hoping you can help.

For the months of March through June of 2010, I am looking for places to stay. Anywhere that’s not my apartment in New York. A room, a house, a Winnebago, as long as it’s in walking or biking distance to a grocery store. If you have or know of a place, even just for a few weeks, please email me here.

I’ll also be subletting a beautiful apartment in the heart of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. You can see pictures of it here. Email as above for more details.

And finally, if you’d just like to keep up on my progress, check back to the website from time to time. I’ll be chronically oversharing.

Thanks in advance.